Suck it Up!

Snackable Cheese Biscuits

2009-03-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Cheese snack biscuits - simple, munchable, takes maybe ten minutes to put together. Which is good, you may find yourself doing this a lot.

3/4 to 1 cup cheese, shredded. Cheddar, Jack, Corteja, Colby, etc.
1tsp salt
1tsp baking soda
1 cup white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup dry oatmeal
4tbs Margerine or shortning.

Cut together until you have a course, mealy texture.
Slowly add cold water while mixing until you have a stiff, firm mass. Roll thin (1/4 inch) and cut shapes, or simply roll into a parchment lined sheet pan and score into triangles with a pizza cutter.

Place into a pre-heated 325 degree oven for 30 minutes (check at 20).

Try to allow them to cool somewhat before eating. Top with salsa, tuna salad or simply enjoy as is.

Ramen Egg Cakes

2009-01-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

Head Ramen Chef Apron by webcarve
Buy cooking aprons on zazzle.com

Life got in the way of writing for this blog for a while, and I haven't been able to pick up vacuum bags to play with. Life has been a bit tight which has led to the need for two things. Cheap and comforting food. And for me, one of the staples for comfort food is your ordinary brick of Ramen noodles.

This is a simple dish that I've made several times. It stands alone, but it's also the base for all sorts of more complicated recipes. Best of all, from the viewpoint of this blog, the final result works beautifully in a vacuum bag. This is one of those recipes that is easily to double or triple and make ahead.

Ramen Egg Cakes.
Ingredients:

2 blocks noodles, crushed
One or both packets of seasoning.
4 eggs
approximately one cup shredded cabbage
3/4 to 1 cup shredded mozzarella
1 tsp sesame oil.

Place crushed noodles, seasoning and oil in a covered microwavable container and give it a hearty shake. Barely cover noodles with water, add shredded cabbage and cook on full power for three minutes. (Power varies, etc) Stir completely and steam another two minutes, if needed. Noodles should range in texture from almost crisp to fully cooked.

Beat eggs, and fold in the noodle mixture with the the cheese until it's a uniform, rather slimy mass.

At this point, there are two directions to go in. I like to use a skillet to make crispy brown snack cakes.

Lightly oil a skillet and put it on medium heat. Allow it to reach cooking temperature Press noodles into half-inch layer. Cook three to four minutes on each side until brown. The simplest way to do this is cook it in a sheet on the first side, and then, using a pizza cutter, cut it into squares. If you are using a non-stick skillet, make sure you are using a plastic pizza cutter.

Serve: Plain or with toppings, hot or cold. It works well as finger food, and it's robust enough to dip.

Oven Prep:

Preheat oven to 350F. The recipe above will fill one 10 x 15 sheet pan. You can oil your pans, but I'd suggest using parchment paper instead, it will make handling the sheets of cooked noodles easier.

I'd suggest doubling or tripling the recipe for this; a full oven is a thrifty oven.

Cook until firm but resilient; start checking at 20 minutes. When done, cool on wire racks and then cut into portions with a pizza cutter. Pack in bags, refrigerate or freeze.

You will have to experiment a little to find the ideal sizes and microwave reheating times, but once you have it dialed in, it's simple, portable kid-friendly food.

Variations:

Spicing: I'd be the first to admit that the spice packages included in ramen noodles are probably not the best thing you could eat. I'm old, I like them, and I don't care. But for those that are concerned, you can concoct your own flavors with bullion, spices and herbs, diced cooked sausage, veggies, or the king of all flavors - bacon. You can obviously use different cheeses, like Parmesan, or corteja to vary the flavor.

But here's a great idea: Cut noodle cakes to sandwich size, layer with sliced lunch meat, green or red lettuce and ranch dressing, bag them up and refrigerate.

I don't have a deep fryer, but I bet if you were to toss fingers of this in tempura or beer batter and gave them a swim in hot oil, the result would truly be snack food heaven.

Orange You Glad I Zazzle?

2008-08-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

OK, let's admit it, we all love to find accessories for our kitchens, and we all love to score something that's as unique as possible and which fits into our own personal "themes."

It's a matter of practical reality that fridge magnets are now non-optional. Most of us just use whatever sticks, but if you are as obsessive about decor as I would like to be, you should know that there's no reason to settle for dollar store kitsch when you could be using truly original artwork.

Hey, it's your kitchen. It's the place you need to be at least three times a day - if only to check the take-out menus.

Which brings us right back to fridge magnets.

Cantaloupe 2 Watercolor - Magnet by monkley_designs

Gold Apple Watercolor - Magnet by monkley_designs

Make a refrigerator magnet On zazzle.com
Browse other Fruits Magnets

Of course you could just make your own...

Top image: Orange Watercolor - Magnet from Zazzle.com

All designs come from monkley_designs's Gallery at Zazzle

I have tons of things to say on this blog...

2008-08-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

...but after cooking and eating dinner, I need a nap and then I forget. So today, I'm going to do something different. I'm going to tell you what I'm gonna do.

Then I'm gonna do it.

I plan on getting back to this post and tell you how it went - and I might actually remember to do that if I leave the window open. :P

Ok, here's the deal. I went nuts buying chicken legs in bulk, planning on smoking them along with a 40 lb turkey. I was planning on jointing everything and essentially turning all the dark turkey into jerkey.

Well, flu happened and suddenly there was no time. I was missing a grille from my smoker, so there was no room for the chicken - which is very annoying, as that made the cheap smoked turkey not so cheap. Aside from that, some animal had peed on my backup bag of charcoal.

HowEVER, rather than go through that all again, I hauled out the crock-pot, jammed the dozen quarters in it and with all the imagination I had left between wheezes, poured tomato sauce over them. I jammed in some fresh Swiss Chard for flavor and let the whole thing burble away for 18 to 20 hours.

How does it taste? No idea. I'm just glad it's done. :P The "how does it taste part comes next."

What I'm planning to do is to take two quarters and shred them, chop the meat finely along with most of the swiss chard and whatever flavors I need to add. I will then pour this over whole-wheat pasta (of which I will make absurd quantities) and serve.

Details, as they say, to follow.

Update: I returned to the kitchen, only to remember the stark threats made against my person if I were to mess it up after She had cleaned it. Given the day I've had, I found that sauce making, as unambitious as that is, was still too much even had I the energy to clean up after myself.

Instead, I poured rice in the rice-cooker. I will serve a joint of chicken some swiss chard and rice to each us all, with enough pot liquor to moisten the rice; salt, pepper and hot sauce will be available to the ambitious.

And then, afterwards, I must somehow summon the energy to survey the leftovers and "suck it up."

But I will. And I will love me for it later.

Smutzproofing

2008-08-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

I swear, from this point forward, to never ever CONSIDER buying a kitchen gadget that is harder to clean than it is to throw away.

Today, I had to (again) clean my thermostat/timer. I use this every day and of course I have to touch it every few minutes. It should not require special tools to clean it. I should not need to have to use a bamboo skewer to get to all the little cracks and crevices where germs might hide, much less go digging in purely non-functional plastic gullies.

Frankly, I want it to be a solid lump of dish-washer safe acrylic. I want to at least be able to drench it in a squirt of germkiller and wipe it down in less time than it takes to write this.

That was not the case.

Pomme Fritte Acadianne

2008-07-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

The thing to do when you are reducing an insane quantity of food into a large number of meals is to make a variety of meals. With potatos, well, it's the shape that matters. You want to bag as many shapes that you can, either pre-cooked or raw.

A lot also depends on what sort of potatoes you scored. For the moment, let's assume them to be russets. And that is your basic french fry potato. You can, of course, buy frozen french fries in the store. One bag of frozen french fries can cost as much as the potatoes required to make five or more bags.

But to make good french fries without doing yourself an injury, you need proper tools - a french-fry cutter and either a deep-fryer or a lot of cookie sheets and rolled parchment paper.

Some folks like "natural cut" fries, others like them peeled. Either way, for some things you will need to peel your potatoes and cut out bad spots. So a paring knife and a good potato peeler are required, but I am into power tools. Check this baby out! A combination electric peeler and salad spinner. Not a single-tasker, so category="amazon.com">Alton Brown would approve.

But the cooking comes later. What you really want to do is get your potatoes chipped up and bagged as quickly as possible, to minimize browning. You can sprinkle them with a bit of lemon juice or distilled white vinegar as you go, if you need to.

For chips and ripple cuts, get out your cookie sheets and food processor or cookie sheets and mandoline slicer. With one person cutting and another bagging, you should have enough raw chips and ripples done in no time. These are ideal for casseroles as well as deep frying and you don't have to choose at this point.

Repeat for hash browns. And if you have a food processor, rather than a mandoline, include some of the potato peelings into the hash browns, for extra flavor.

If you want to make a few actual meals, this is the simplest recipe in my entire repertoire.

Simple Cheese and Potatoes.

This isn't an Au gratin potato - we aren't using milk; just the moisture in the potatoes themselves, mixing with the milk and oils in the cheese.

You need:

1 qt boilable sealing bag.
Enough sliced potatoes to fill the bag to a depth of one joint of your forefinger when laid on it's side.
One heaping handful of shredded Colby-Jack cheese, Mozzarella cheese, farmer's cheese or other melting cheese.
Seasoning. For myself, tsp Kosher Salt, two or three grinds black pepper and a drop, perhaps two of habanero pepper sauce.
Seal, carefully pressing the potatoes flat, leaving some room for expansion.
Boil or microwave until potatoes feel done to the touch and the cheese has turned into a sauce. (when microwaving, you will need to poke a small vent hole.)
When done, you can serve, or place it in a casserole for browning. But then, you'd have a casserole to wash, so make do with a sprinkle of paprika instead.
When frozen, this makes an excellent, hearty side dish for camping.

Now for the title recipe:

Pomme Fritte Acadianne:

...ok, this really isn't a recipe. It's more of a food culture, widely mocked by those who have never had the courage to try it.

Make or buy a good brown gravy. (recall, we reserved stock in the previous post).

Make your French Fries, either deep fried, or seasoned and baked.

Put the steaming hot fries on a plate and pour a generous dipper of brown gravy over top.

Poutine - Food of the Ghods!

If you can find actual low-moisture cheese curd and dump it over the fries before pouring gravy, you have a dish called Poutine.

But if you just dump shredded mozzarella, you have this - and even tourists can tell the difference. Not that it's not good - but it's not real poutine!

Welcome to Canada, eh? And pour us a Hi-Test!

Buying in Bulk - Hamburger

2008-07-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

I can't resist a deal, so I love places that sell bulk foods and huge portions at a discount. But what are you going to do with 10 pounds of hamburger, 50 pounds of potatoes or 20 pounds of Granny Smith Apples?

Well, considering the type of blog, the answer should be obvious. But actually it's better to have several answers. The idea, though, is to plan ahead and go all Iron Chef on two or three big bulk buys. Let's start with hamburger and some general principles.

Hamburger

With hamburger, for instance, you might make five pounds of pre-made patties and a five-pound meat-loaf.

For plain hamburger patties you can use a patty maker that you can get pretty much anywhere. You want to store them in "per meal" units, so if your family has two members, pack them in units of two.

So, first, tools. You will need a Hamburger patty maker and you will probably want to have parchment paper squares for ease of handling. You can cut sheets from a parchment paper roll, but that does add a whole other step.

Now, many people like plain hamburger just fine - but then, why not just buy bulk frozen hamburger patties? If you are going to go to the trouble of making them, it's no harder to make excellent patties.

The first thing to understand is that a "pure beef" patty has just the flavor of that particular cut of meat, plus whatever amount of fat is included. Fat is flavorful, but fattening. Now, you can cook on a grill that removes fat - but it also removes natural moisture. My answer is to go with a very very lean hamburger and ADD flavor, moisture and healthy fats, plus additives that boost flavor, improve texture and retain moisture.

I like dried soy protein and or "quick oats" as a filler, up to 20 percent. So for ten pounds of hamburger, one to two pounds of filler.

My other favorite filler is dried black mushrooms, broken into small chunks. These retain moisture and flavor while providing their own earthy mushroomy note. And for the ultimate in flavor and texture additives, you can add 10 to 15 percent dried meat or dried sausage (Slimjims, for instance) depending on how spicy and what other flavors are in the mix. You will want to chop or grind it into the consistency of corn-meal.

Fillers need to be thoroughly worked into the mass of ground meat and the best tool for this is a very large stainless steel mixing bowl and your gloved hands.

You may find it difficult to get gloves that are long enough, so before you glove up, simply wrap your forearms in another kitchen staple - Glad Press N'Seal film. Oh, and of course you need food-handling gloves.

Depending on what else I'm doing, I like to use olive, peanut and sesame oils to boost flavor and "mouth-feel." For moisture and flavor, soy sauce, teriayki sauce, white and red wine vinegars, balsamic vinegar, cider vinegar and Worcestershire sauce. For heat, Tabasco, a good Habanero sauce and a good assortment of dried chilis.

Bob's Basic Burger:
It's all optional! (Except for the ground beef. Which could be ground turkey.)
5 lbs lean ground beef
1 1/2 cup Quick Oats
1 1/2 cup Soy Grits
1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce.
1 large or 2 small minced yellow onions
2 to 5 cloves garlic, minced (to taste).
This is the theme I improvise around. Note that "lean beef" is not so lean that you need to add fat, but if you were to do so:
2tbs Sesame Oil.
Sesame Oil adds a nice, nutty flavor. For less oil and a similar flavor, consult Alton Brown's Good Eats site about toasting sesame seeds, and add a tablespoon or two.

Mix evenly and form into meat balls or patties.

Ok, first we mix, then we stack interleaved with parchment squares, then we gently wrap them in press n'seal or plastic wrap, and freeze it until it's quite firm. Otherwise, our food sealer is going to turn our nice patties into wrinkly puddles of uneven thickness. We don't want that, and it's a lot less messy handling frozen meat.

Once your patties are frozen hard, bag them according to what you are going to be doing with them. At the simplest, three or four per quart bag will keep them free of freezer-burn for months on end.

But since we can also partially prepare the meal itself in this step, let us do that. So, you will need:

Bob's Double Deluxes

10 frozen patties.
1 large sweet onion, sliced thin
1 large tomato, sliced thin
10 slices favorite cheese(s)

Take two patties, remove the paper. Layer cheese, tomato, onion, patty. Insert into a boilable pint bag and suck it down. Freeze, repeat.

Now, when you want to grill a burger, you first drop it in boiling water and let it bob around until it reaches an internal temperature of at least 120 degrees. This means your grill time will be reduced remarkably, and you won't have to worry about rare burgers. If you have blended pork or poultry, this can be a very important consideration.

Remove and drain all patties at the same time, reserving the flavorful juice to make a gravy or thick sauce.

Grill quickly on high heat, turning once, until the probe says it's done, and serve with your favorite sides.

Sorry for the mess..

2008-07-06T07:48:00.001-07:00

I'm still fiddling with this, and it's obviously not ready for prime-time, but it's well worth grabbing my rss feed right now. Then you will have the complete set!

Introduction to Suck it Up

2008-07-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome to "Suck it Up!" I've been using food baggers for years and I've come up with many techniques for storing, reheating, marinading and cooking meals from scratch in these amazingly versatile bags.

Every once in a while I'll throw in a steamer recipe, because the ideas are pretty closely related.